Framework for ultimate success in everything

Episode 8 May 12, 2024 00:39:24
Framework for ultimate success in everything
Debullshified
Framework for ultimate success in everything

May 12 2024 | 00:39:24

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Hosted By

Nina Alexander

Show Notes

Welcome to episode 8 in which I’ll reveal a framework for ultimate success in everything. Here’s your disclaimer thought: frameworks aren’t magic pills. They’ll give you the structure, but you still have to put in the work
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Episode Transcript

[00:00:01] Hello and welcome to episode eight of the Bolshevite. I promised you that I will be back this week, and here I am. Before we begin, this is your reminder that the bullshit fight is a place where we talk about marketing, business and life. This podcast is for critical thinkers, saviour and japanese, and curious minds of all walks of life. Here we worship no gods, nor celebrities. We learn, we laugh, and we think independently. Today, I would like to take you on a journey to dismantle the myths of success and reconstruct it in a way that actually makes sense for you. Yes, you sitting there with a cup of coffee and maybe even a glass of wine, I don't judge. [00:00:42] This is a very special episode to me because we get to talk about the only framework anyone ever needs to achieve success. But most importantly, we first get to talk about what success really is, because I firmly believe that most of us may have it twisted. So let's define success. [00:01:01] The most successful person I have ever met was my great grandmother. At the advanced age I knew her and she had it all. Her own house, friends, work, things to take care of people who loved her and people whom she loved. I have never, not once heard my great grandmother sound dissatisfied or bored. She had her siesta every day. She ate great food and laughed at every opportunity. [00:01:31] If you're now thinking that I come from money, you are dead wrong. The woman I just described wasn't wealthy in the sense that you would instantly imagine. She didn't have a full bank account, nor did she own multiple properties. She had barely traveled anywhere and her wardrobe wasn't full of designer clothes. But she was happy. She had her own definition of success and it didnt mean extraordinary achievement in any specific direction. Instead, it was a balanced puzzle of smaller and bigger achievements that made her happy as a whole. Not because of the state of one area of her life, but because of the fine combination of achievements in all of the small areas that mattered. Took her I believe that this is what we often forget. We say that people are successful only by seeing their public face. Perhaps the fact that they are an investment banker or that they are a famous actor, author, or a politician. We are quick to label people. You make a lot of money, therefore you are successful. But is that really the truth? Dont get me wrong, they might be. Some of the people that make a lot of money are truly successful. They have found the right pieces of the puzzle and a combination of elements that make them really, truly successful. [00:02:56] Others, however, are forced to live with the burden of the public's definition of success without feeling it. And this burden can at times be so heavy that people choose to leave this earth just so they don't have to deal with the pain of not being able to be their authentic selves. [00:03:16] Robin Williams is one such example. He looked as successful as he could be on the surface. [00:03:23] He made a lot of money. He was a successful actor. He even did a lot for charities and other people. He wasn't the usual jerk that you would know from celebrity circles. [00:03:37] Through his suicide, however, we found out that his success was probably just in our eyes. [00:03:47] Similar was the situation with Chester Bennington, the lead vocalist of Linking park, who left behind a wife and three children, one of whom adopted. I think the list of seemingly famous, seemingly successful and famous people who have decided to end their life is far too large for us not to question the society's history, taste, to label people successful. [00:04:10] I'm not mentioning these people to sadden you, but to remind you that although financial wealth is certainly desirable and without a doubt beneficial to one's life, it is not what defines success. [00:04:23] Success instead should be defined by providing people with a state of life in which they don't feel bitterness towards everyday tasks. [00:04:32] Let me repeat that so it's, it sticks. Success should be defined by providing people with a state of life in which they dont feel bitterness towards everyday tasks. [00:04:44] Not hating what you have to do on a daily basis. Waking up with the actual desire to go through what you have to do is what success should be defined at a banker who despises going to work may be wealthy, but is he successful? A doctor who has lost empathy towards patients may be perceived as a specialist, but is he successful? A singer who needs the support of drugs to go on stage may be famous, but is he successful? [00:05:17] The moment we lose the desire to deal with day to day tasks, success is no longer on the table, regardless of the levels of fame or financial benefits. [00:05:29] And even so, each of those people could actually be successful for what we know. If the banker goes to work in the dedication to give his family the financial stability he never had, and he can see his children enjoy the benefits of his wealth as they grow, he actually might be an achieved person. He might be successful. [00:05:51] If the doctor is writing books and teaching theory, but needs to practice for any reason, he might still be a successful person. [00:06:01] The only question here is not what we see as a success, but what the person does. Whatever we measure success by, there must be something in the journey itself, not the outcome that gives us fulfillment because success sucks. If the journey does. [00:06:22] As with the two examples above, if there is nothing that we appreciate from the process of going after a goal, there is very little point to continue going. [00:06:34] In the example of the banker, he had his children alongside his career that made the hustle worthy the doctor had his teaching that brought him pleasure, and the prolonged practice is therefore justified. [00:06:50] This is the other side of success in any field that we rarely talk about. I have heard many wish they were famous, but doubt that they would be keen on having the entire world involved with every aspect of their personal life. [00:07:06] I doubt that they would appreciate the fame when going through a tough moment in a relationship. I doubt that they would want their unflattering beach photos on the front page of every magazine. [00:07:20] I doubt that they would want to always feel chaste and to never know if their friends are truly their friends or simply people who want to brush off some of that fame. [00:07:33] I have also heard loads of people dream of being exceptionally wealthy, but I doubt they understand how challenging it can truly be to protect said Welt. I doubt that those same people would have desire and patience to sit in endless meetings with financial advisors, look through spreadsheets and listen to reports so they can choose the best investment strategy. I doubt that these people realize that net worth and available cash or liquid cash are two vastly different things. [00:08:06] I doubt that people understand how ridiculous it feels to be completely out of control and watch your wealth disappear overnight, as many of the wealthy people have seen. And I doubt they understand how poisonous are the political games that one must play when they're wealthy with the people around them. They're investment bankers and everybody that they suddenly have to deal with as the wealth grows. [00:08:34] The reason I am telling you this is not to push anyone away from fame or financial wealth. If this is what you truly desire, then by all means go for it. But please, however you define success in a specific area, please be aware of the journey that you must make on the way of obtaining it and the price that you will have to pay to get it and for as long as you want to hold it. Because there is a price for keeping it as well. Because the examples here are not the only ones we should look into. [00:09:12] Being a good parent is one of those successes that many people chase and while that is great, please realize just how difficult it is and how long the journey is because parenthood doesnt end when the child turns 18, at least not for those who wish to label themselves as good parents. Parenthood is a lifelong journey and it is a lot of hard work. The payoff might be fantastic, but the cost is still high. [00:09:44] Another factor to consider is that success also means failure. [00:09:51] Looking at social media and instagram, picture perfect lives, it's easy to forget that we we are only human beings and that our existence on this planet is bound to the abstract element of time. Whatever we believe in the mod, in the modern 24 hours days, whether we believe in the 24 hours day system or not, we need sleep and we need rest. And no, these two are not the same. Sleep is the physiological need of the organism, so it doesn't eat itself from the inside. [00:10:27] Rest is the need of the mind, aka the brain. Quite literally for the same reason. [00:10:33] It seems so obvious that there is a limit to the things that we can do without the day, months, within a day, months, year and a lifetime. Yet people seem to forget about this fact and want to do it all and have it all. And I have been guilty of the same so many times. [00:10:55] But it doesnt work like that. The more successful we are in one area of our life, the less successful we inevitably become in another. [00:11:04] This is what my great grandmother had mastered. She had made peace with the elements in life she was never going to be successful at, and had let them go. [00:11:16] People who choose to become great at all consuming careers that require a lot of time are unlikely to become just as successful at DIY things. For example, those who choose to travel a lot are very unlikely to become fantastic gardeners. There is always a trade off, although it is rarely conscious. [00:11:38] Making it conscious, however, is what can truly remove the possibility of a crisis. [00:11:47] If you choose to have a fantastic family, you choose to risk other elements of life. Perhaps you choose to risk your career, friendships, opportunities to travel or something else. If you choose to have a great career, you risk other factors, such as perhaps relationships, friendships, holidays, adventures or more. [00:12:07] No one says that those other areas must be a complete failure. This is just a Hollywood representation of things. [00:12:15] It would be a brutal and completely unnecessary generalization to say that if you have a great career, you have to fail as a family person. [00:12:24] But they will suffer. Those other areas of your life will suffer. And the sooner you make peace with that, the better. [00:12:31] How do you make peace, you may ask. Well, it's simple. Ask yourself, when the shit hits the fence, where would you run? What would you run towards? What are you prepared not to sleep for? What are you ready to give all of your earning towards saving? [00:12:51] Whatever your answer is, choose this thing day in and day out. Keep choosing it when it's easy, and choose it again when it's hard. Don't discard everything else in your life, but give attention where attention is due and give the exact amount in which its due. If you choose your career, you can neglect an invitation for drinks every now and then. If you choose your family, go home when your workday is over. If you choose your significant other, you can leave some friends behind and go to your loved one. [00:13:27] This is what success truly is about. Firstly, its about having your own definition of it based on what you value. [00:13:36] Secondly, it's about knowing that you will pay for it and that you will continue paying for it as long as you hold on to it. And thirdly, understanding that success is achieved by choosing what you care about over anything else, hour after hour and day after day. [00:13:57] So now that we have defined it, let's go over the only framework that you will ever need to achieve any type of success in any area of life. [00:14:08] The framework to achieve success, once you know what that is, is quite simple. [00:14:15] Ive been around for a while now and in my lifetime I have seen too many people become millionaires and even billionaires by selling frameworks for success to others. Funny enough, those who appear to get the most out of it are the sellers. We all know why, because we all want to succeed in any area, in some areas of life, but very few are willing to put in the work. This is why I need you to understand something. When someone is selling you a framework, they're not there to help you, they're there to gain from it. And it's the sad truth. But when there is money attached to it, that is the reality. They will tell you that the reason there is money attached to it is because they want you to actually truly commit to the framework. But thats not the case. The money attached to it are to pay for the work of the person. [00:15:12] I am not saying that frameworks are worthless, they absolutely are not. After all, this episode is about a framework. [00:15:19] But they are meaningless if you are not ready and most importantly, willing to put in the hard work and grind for months and perhaps years. [00:15:31] And finally, as arrogant as it may sound, all frameworks that are being sold to you are a derivative of what I am about to share. Just someone finding a different way to say the same thing and perhaps package it in a testosterone pumped event, a glossy book cover, a funky online course or something else. [00:15:55] The golden framework is simple and can be called Osta, standing for objective strategy, tactics and actions. [00:16:07] Let's review each section in more depth. [00:16:11] Objectives can also be called aims or goals or any other suitable word you can attach to it. The objective is effectively the thing that you want to achieve, and this framework is mostly used in business. So objective very often sounds something like, we would like to have 20% more sales within a ten month period. [00:16:43] In life it could sound different. In life it could sound something like, I would like to do 5 kg by my brother's wedding, or I would like to graduate with honors a semester early. [00:17:01] Or perhaps I would like to travel 20 countries before the age of 30. [00:17:08] If you look at the way that I just phrased those, you will realize that there is an element in time. You set the goal and you set the time in which you are meant to achieve it. This is quite a crucial element to setting a goal, because if you dont have a timeframe, you dont know whether youve achieved something or not. Now, I am thorn between advising to always follow a timeframe and to never follow a timeframe. And I think there is a fine balance for both, because following a deadline can be exhausting. We're not robots, we cannot be put on desert or in any kind of environment to do the same thing over and over again for a very prolonged period of time. [00:18:00] If you have ever been in a routine, and I think most of us have been in a routine for some duration of time, you realize very soon, perhaps three or four months in. For some it is faster, for others it takes longer that you feel like your brain is rotting. [00:18:20] When you set yourself in a routine that is repetitive, that has the same elements over and over again, you can become demotivated to do anything, because there is nothing that piques your brain anymore. There is nothing that you find interesting about that. As I said, I am the very thorn between advising to put a time frame or not to put a time frame. Perhaps it all should be based on the actual goal that you set. So you have two options. You can use the smart goal method, which I'll explain in a moment, or you can choose to just set a goal about what you want to achieve. Perhaps the goal could be the objective, could be something as simple as I'm going to be happy because this is a valid objective, I am going to be happy, I am going to be calm, I am going to be fulfilled, are all valid objectives. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. [00:19:26] So let's just cover smart goals to know that we have covered everything about objectives. [00:19:32] Smart goals stands for specific, for the s, measurable, for the m, achievable, for the a, relevance for the R, and time bound for the t. What do those mean? Specific is obviously the idea that the goal must be very well defined. It should be something that you can visualize, you can imagine very easily measurable is kind of self explanatory. You should be able to measure whether you've achieved your goal, whether you are 80% there, you're 60% there, etcetera. So saying I will lose weight, for example, is not quite a measurable goal because we don't know how much weight you're going to lose. If you say I'm going to lose five stone, gosh, that's quite a lot. But say if you're going to lose two stone, that now is a measurable goal. Achievable is also something that you should think a lot about, because saying that you will earn, let's say, a million dollars is probably possible for somebody, possible, easily achievable for somebody who is studying at Harvard, but perhaps a little bit less achievable for somebody who is eleven and finds themselves in the slums of India. Don't get me wrong, everything is possible on this earth. And the eleven year old might be more capable of achieving the million dollars. But that is a whole other story here. We're not talking about the exceptions that we constantly look for to justify our reckless dreams. We are talking about the rule. [00:21:17] Relevance stands for the idea that the goal must be relevant to you. If you are disabled somehow, for instance, you lost a leg for whatever reason, which I'm very sorry for. You are unlikely to be an astronaut, for instance. It requires quite a lot of training to go into space and you're probably not going to be physically fit. So we have to be very realistic when we talk about our goals and set something that is relevant to us. You can also use the r to describe realistic. [00:21:56] And finally, time bound is what I previously spoke about. The idea that you have to set yourself with a time frame within which you are going to achieve your objective. Once again, be very careful when you're using time bound. It shouldn't be used for any, for everything in life. As I said, saying that you would like to be a you, that your objective in life is to be calm is a very, very valid objective, but you cannot put a time to it. You can't. [00:22:28] This is something that you're going to work on every day of your life for the rest of your life. So, well, theoretically you can say for as long as I'm alive and that would make it time bound. So here we go. [00:22:42] So this is all I want you to know about objectives, objectives and goals and aims are what you are going to work towards. [00:22:52] The next two parts of the framework are the funny bits. [00:22:57] One of them is strategy for S. So if you remember, I called the framework osta and the other one is tactics. And I cannot tell you how many times people get those two completely twisted. [00:23:11] Strategy is when it comes to business, when it comes to life, strategy is about the methods that you're going to use to achieve something, and tactics are the different elements that support that method. So let's get into it, because this is quite important. [00:23:26] Let's say that somebody is this has decided to become a politician. We are looking at a 14 year old boy who is sitting behind his desk after school hours and saying, I am going to be the prime minister of this country. [00:23:42] Great objective. [00:23:45] I don't know if they can make it time bound, because it's quite difficult to say when exactly you're going to achieve such a law, such a big thing. But they could say everything. They could have all the other elements to it. It could be absolutely realistic, it's. [00:24:02] Or relevant for them, it could be achievable. We don't know. It could. It is quite measurable, quite well measurable, and it's very, very specific. [00:24:12] So let's say that this boy has decided that he wants to become the next prime minister, or a prime minister of the country in which he lives. Now, when that goal is set, the person must choose a strategy, they must choose a method. And if you think about politics, although I don't claim to know anything or everything about politics, but say that they have decided to do that, there are different methods by which this can be achieved. [00:24:41] One of those methods, for instance, is that the child can say, I am going to do really great studying. I will get, even if they're not from a financially well family, I will get into the best schools by using. By taking advantage of a scholarship, and I will make my connections and I will climb up the ladder and I'll get into politics as soon as I graduate with honors from the best possible schools. That is one option. This is a strategy to work towards a specific goal. [00:25:17] Another way could be. Be by doing fairly well at school, but for instance, joining a youth organization of any political party that this person feels drawn towards. That could be another strategy. A third strategy could be, I will create a fantastic business. I will become one of the most prominent, well known business people within this country. And then at the age of, let's say, 35 or 38 or 40, I will move towards politics. These are all different strategies towards achieving the same goal. [00:26:00] They're not tactics, they are strategies. This is a very generic idea of how one wants to get somewhere. [00:26:09] Once the generic idea has been chosen, the person can move towards tactics. But let's talk about strategies a little bit more, just so it is clear. [00:26:19] If your objective has been to lose weight, your strategy could be, for instance, choosing to be in a calorie deficit, a very traditional way that we all should know by now isn't working. But let's say this is the strategy that you've chosen. Another strategy you might have is to keep your calorie balance well, but actually work towards your fitness. [00:26:52] A third strategy might be to lose the weight by making yourself happy, because it has been proven multiple times that people only gain weight when they're quite miserable, when their mental health is suffering. I don't exactly know how those two are linked, but it's quite obvious to all of us, even without all of the research that has been done, that it is relevant. [00:27:16] So all of those three, again, are strategies. [00:27:20] And then you have to get into the tactics of how exactly you are going to achieve any of those things. Tactics are going to be the way that you link your current life or your current state, or whatever it is that you're doing towards that strategy. [00:27:39] Let's say that another objective that we could work here with could be for a business that wants to become the only, let's say the most famous business in selling dancing shoes. For argument's sake, there could be different ways to go about that. So the company might choose to go with the premium product where they work towards product development. They create the most amazing dancing shoe ever and they work their way towards earning that premium status of the best dance shoe company in the world. Or they could choose to just have enormous amount of stock from various dancing shoes from all over the world and sell in multiple locations. So in that case, when people look for dancing shoes, they will be the first ones to pop up. [00:28:39] Another way they could do that is by focusing on a set number of dancing shoes, but choosing to constantly have different promotions or discounts so people can choose them over and over again. [00:28:53] So you see, all of these are strategies towards achieving said goal. And the tactics when working towards any of those strategies would be different. So let's move over towards what tactics actually is. We'll go back to the next prime minister of any country and we'll say that for argument's sake, we'll say that he has chosen to join, for instance, a youth organization with the Democratic Party, Democratic Republicans. [00:29:30] I'm really not aware of politics, as you can tell, but we'll use this argument just so we can frame the idea. [00:29:39] So the young boy, let's call him Ben, Ben has decided to be the next prime minister. And he has chosen to join the youth organization of the Democratic Party. And he's going to start working to spread the ideals of Democrats in the country, in the region he's in, and then in the country. And then he will make, he will work his way up. [00:30:01] Now, Ben doesn't just sit in a vacuum, right? He's gotta go to school. He has perhaps a baseball practice or swimming classes or anything else that 14 year old kids would do these days, I wouldn't even know. [00:30:19] But say Ben has chosen to do this. Now he has to find a way to fit the work into his daily life. And this is where he's going to go into the tactics. One of the tactics could be to start to join the program, to join the local political organization of the Democrats and start helping them with the graphic design for leaflets, because he's been playing around with Photoshop and illustrator and he knows them really well. [00:30:53] So he's going to make his way up by becoming very useful in a creative sense. [00:30:59] Another way he could go about it is perhaps because he's very good at debate, for instance, he would be working within the political party to help them with speeches and arguments and anything else. [00:31:19] So those are going to be the tactics that he will choose. [00:31:23] Once he chooses those tactics, he then has to get into actions. Remember, we're talking about Ben, who is sitting at his desk and thinking that he's going to be the next prime minister. He's chosen his strategy, he's chosen his tactics, and now it's time for actions. [00:31:40] So what are the actions that Ben is going to have to follow? Well, he's going to have to find out where the Democratic Party has some sort of gathering, whether they have a club or whatever a democratic party would do in a specific area. [00:31:59] He would then have to go and find out how he can join them so he can start offering his services. He would then have to find a way to fit, to fit it into his daily routine and join that Hardy's gathering every so often. So those are going to be his actions. Once he has decided what his tactics would be. [00:32:23] If we go to the Gantz company that has decided that they're going to become a market leader, and they have, for argument's sake, chosen the strategy of designing the best dancing shoe or the best dancing shoes, now they're going to have to choose their tactics. So first of all, they're going to have to decide how they're going to define what that best dancing shoe is. Are they doing female dance shoes? Are they doing male dance shoes? Which are they doing first? That is going to be a tactic. [00:33:01] A tactic is going to be based on the strategy and defined as what do I do first and how do I go about it? [00:33:10] Are they going to choose the best dancers in the world and start working with them? So are they doing collaborations or are they doing research in hobby dancers and working with them to find out what the best dancing shoe is? This is a tactic many people. This is why I am saying that many people get this confused. A lot of businesses and a lot of individuals will often think that the tactic is actually a strategy, while it is not. A strategy is an overarching element, an overarching path that we use to follow towards achieving a goal. And the key thing that is important about strategies is that the strategy must be aligned well with who we are. [00:33:56] If I, for instance, worked or owned that shoe company, and I have a particular disliking towards working very long hours and paying a lot of attention to the same thing over and over again, choosing the strategy of going with the best product in the market is not going to be right for me. Why? Because I won't be able to focus long enough in order to pull it off if I am not very keen on cheap products. On the other hand, going with the idea of having a set amount of shoes and constantly having discounts isn't going to be right for me as an individual. [00:34:35] Exceptionally important that whenever we choose a strategy towards achieving something, we want to be certain that this strategy is true to who we are as individuals. [00:34:48] If I wanted to achieve fame, so say that I wanted to achieve fame, it wouldn't be right for me to follow the path, for instance, followed by the Kardashians, just for argument's sake. Why? Because I wouldn't like my personal life exposed to that extent. This is where we get to talk about trade off. Strategy must be relevant to success in a way that doesn't diminish who we are. It doesn't ask us to change our values, and it doesn't break us mentally while achieving it. [00:35:23] Tactics, whole different story. Tactics are the easy bits. Tactics are effectively. What do I focus on first? [00:35:31] So make sure that whenever you're going towards your goal, whenever you're going towards your aim, you are truly aware of how you're doing it. If I have let's go back to the idea of losing some weight because this is relevant for quite a few people these days. If I have decided that I'm going to lose weight by being in a calorie deficit, this must be something I'm very comfortable with by default. If I like my food, if I enjoy snacking, if I am a foodie in general, going in a calorie deficit is going to be a struggle. This isn't going to be right for me. [00:36:06] So this isn't the strategy that I can choose. [00:36:10] If I hate moving about, if I hate weightlifting, working on my fitness from that perspective through this means is not going to be right for me. [00:36:23] So we have to choose the thing that's right for us towards to achieve that objective and then we have to work towards the tactics. Say that I absolutely love weightlifting, I can choose the way that I go about it. I could do a version of calisthenics, which is body weight training, and it's still kind of the idea of weightlifting, but the weight is your own body. But this could be a tactic that I could follow, or I could choose to be a regular at the gym and wake up every morning and go before I go to the office at 09:00 and that could be a way, that could be my strategy. And then my tactics would be to choose the right gym to fit it with my schedule and choose the right timing that I'm going to go through the gym, choose the right set of exercises that I'm going to do instead of weights, et cetera, et cetera, and then go about and do it. So I hope that you now understand the difference, the difference between strategy, tactics and actions. We often, in business, I hear people talk about strategies, they talk about tactics. I then often hear people talk about tactics. They actually mean actions. [00:37:31] The thing that's important here is when you choose your strategy, the thing that I want you to remember, when you choose your strategy, choose a strategy that is right for who you are and for the values that you have and for the tendencies that you have towards handling life situation. [00:37:46] When you choose your tactics, this is the time to be truly realistic and reasonable. You have to choose them so they fit with the lifestyle that you have designed or they help you make the right changes in the lifestyle that you have designed. And finally, when it comes down to actions, make sure that you actually do them. This is perhaps the hardest bit. [00:38:08] It's very easy to choose a strategy because this is the mind work that we get to do towards a goal. This is when we get to visualize how exactly it would happen. Thinking about the tactics is still endorphin inducing because it still helps you think about the goal. [00:38:25] But then when it gets down to actions, when it gets to actually getting up and doing the work, this is where it gets hard. And I want to get you back to the starting point where I talked to you about my great grandmother, who is the most successful person that I have ever known. [00:38:43] She didn't have any problem with doing the work. [00:38:46] She didn't have any concerns whatsoever. If anything. Actually, she loved the daily tasks that she had to do. She loved gardening. That was one of the things I remember vividly about her. She loved gardening. She got me into loving gardening at the young age of six. [00:39:04] So whenever you choose that pathway for you, find a way to love the things that you're going to do. [00:39:13] I hope this was helpful. [00:39:15] My name is Nina Alexander and I would like to thank you for the Bolsheviking one more topic with me.

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